A Tale of Two Hamlets is the fourth episode of the sixth series of the popular ITV crime drama Midsomer Murders and originally aired 24th January 2003.
Synopsis[]
The villages of Upper and Lower Warden have been feuding since the days of Cromwell and the Civil War, but now the feud has taken a deadly turn. Larry Smith, the star of a horror film titled The House of Satan, is murdered. Some residents of Lower Warden object to the fact that an important piece of local history has been turned into a cheap horror film. DCS Tom Barnaby and DS Gavin Troy delve into the family history to find the solution.
Plot, Part 1[]
People in costume hurry out to see the opening ceremony of the Ellis Bell Satanic Experience. Joyce Barnaby is among them.
Rupert Smythe-Webster speaks, “Welcome to the opening ceremony of the Ellis Bell Satanic Experience. 120 years ago to this very day, a young man named Ellis Bell walked out of that house along that footpath and into that summerhouse. He wrote a book that would put our much-loved village of Upper Warden on the map. The book was called The House Of Satan, now, as we all know, a major movie. The part of Ellis Bell will be played by the star of the movie and another of Upper Warden's most famous sons, Larry Smith.” He turns around to see Larry Smith walk through the door, which he doesn’t.
Inside, Frank Webster tries to convince Larry to participate in the event. “Larry, Larry. It's five grand in cash for walking down a path and into a summerhouse.”
Larry says, “I ain't wearing no bleeding rug.” Frank says, “I've put a little surprise in there for you. A tiny soupçon of your favorite Peruvian marching powder.” And then, with a cockney accent, Frank says, “So march your bleedin' plates down that bleedin' path, know what I mean, son?” A hairdresser arranges the wig on Larry’s head.
MURDER 1: Larry walks out the front door and down the path to the summerhouse and the crowd cheers and claps. Larry turns, waves at the crowd and goes in the summerhouse. Which then blows up with debris blowing onto the crowd.
DCI Barnaby and DS Troy arrive at a crossroads. There is a sign pointing to Lower Warden and Upper Warden. Troy starts to go up the hill, but Barnaby says, “Troy, stop. We go down the hill, Troy.” Troy says, “I thought we were going to Upper Warden.” Barnaby replies, “We are. Upper Warden is down the hill. Lower Warden is up the hill.” Troy says, “That doesn't make any sense.” Barnaby says, “Troy, this is Midsomer.” Troy says, “Sorry. I forgot.”
The detectives drive to Upper Warden Manor, which is a hotel and features en-suite rooms and a gymnasium. Pathologist, Dr. George Bullard explains that a bomb went off- Semtex. You can buy it at car boot sales if you know where to look.” Triggered by a remote-control device. It was a big explosion so the victim was somewhat dispersed.
Barnaby tells George that, “Troy says I should recognize the name.” Larry Smith. Troy says, “Nah. Larry Smiff?” Barnaby asks, “Why are you putting on that absurd voice?” Troy replies, “That's the way he used to talk. He made his name in a TV series about lovable East End gangsters called Diamond Geezers.” He was famous, never out of the tabloids. Birds and booze- he was the vicar's son.
In the back of the manor, Danny Pinchel passes out tea to the family. Frank Webster sees the police coming and says, “Here comes the bogeyman.” Frank leaves to take a phone call and DCI Barnaby approaches. Simon Smythe-Webster asks, “What do we tell him?” Rupert Smythe-Webster says, “We maintain the family tradition.” Wendy Smythe-Webster asks, “We tell him the truth?” Rupert replies, “That isn't at all what I said.” There isn’t a tear among them.
Rupert introduces everyone, “So, let me tell you who everybody is. My younger brother Simon. (Simon is wearing a reverend’s collar). His wife Laura. And over there is my youngest brother, who will join us when it suits him.” Wendy pipes up, “Me, darling.” Rupert says, “Forgive me, Inspector. This is my third wife, Wendy.” Wendy says, “Fourth.”
Barnaby says, “Larry Smith was your son?” looking at Simon and Laura. Simon looks at Laura. Laura looks sideways. Laura says, “Yes, he was my son.” Simon says, “We brought him up as Lawrence Smythe-Webster. Larry Smith is a creature he invented after he left us.” Laura says, “That is not entirely fair.”
Frank Webster walks up. Rupert says, “This is my youngest brother Francis, Inspector, who answers to Frank. (Rupert pointedly looks at Frank). We were telling Inspector Barnaby all about our nephew.” Wendy says, “He had lovely eyelashes.” Laura gives her a sidelong glance.
The Smythe-Webster clan all live in Upper Warden. A thousand-year-old family tradition, Barnaby. Rupert says, "The first-born son stays at home. We live in the east wing." Simon says, "The next son goes into the Church and becomes the vicar of Upper Warden." Frank says, "The youngest goes off to the Crusades." Frank says, “But I decided to join the godless infidels, and became a movie producer.” He produced The House Of Satan- the highest-grossing UK-financed movie of the past decade. Simon interjects, “Gross is an appropriate word.”
Barnaby requests a large room where he can set up a temporary headquarters. Rupert offers him the church schoolroom. Frank laughs and Simon angrily says, “We need the schoolroom for the Sunday school anniversary concert rehearsals.” Rupert says, “It's God's will, Simon.” Simon says, “No it isn't - it's your will.” Rupert replies, “In Upper Warden it's all the same thing.”
In the kitchen, Phil Harrison comes in and Danny gives him coffee laced with whiskey. Phil toasts to poor Larry. Danny gives Phil a lobster. Phil takes the bottle of whiskey.
At the Barnaby home, Joyce tells Barnaby that, “The man I was standing next to in the line of peasants said Ellis Bell never went near the summerhouse. He wrote the book in the neighboring village of Lower Warden. My chap claimed the film was a travesty and it was all Oliver Cromwell's fault.” The man was a local and he and the other costumed people were there to make up the numbers. "A day in the fresh air and a buffet lunch. Danny the chef's speciality- meatballs. Apparently, he'd just lost his mother. But he still insisted on turning up."
At the manor, Rupert sits outside smoking a cigarette. Danny offers Rupert his condolences. Rupert appreciates Danny coming in to work since his mother just died. Rupert says, “I wonder if you realize the full tragic irony of today's whole sorry business- from the point of view of the film Larry's death could be terribly good for business.”
Barnaby comes to the manor house and asks to speak to Mr Frank Smythe-Webster. The receptionist, Helen, tells him “He calls himself Frank Webster.” He's working out in the Ellis Bell multi-gym.
Frank is working on an exercise bike while talking on his mobile phone. Barnaby asks who stood to gain from the death of Larry Smith. Frank says, “Certainly not me. You realize we start shooting House Of Satan 2 next month? (They will have to find another actor) Once agents realize the fine mess we're in, the price goes through the roof. I find that deeply offensive.” Barnaby asks if that is all it’s about- money? Frank says, “The bottom line. Everything's about money.” Barnaby says he expected a little more grief from the bereaved and Frank says nobody liked him. Barnaby asks Frank to participate in a press conference.
Frank tells the press that Larry Smith was destined to become a major international star in their next project together - House Of Satan 2. But they will give the police every assistance in bringing the killer to justice. Murdoch of the Causton Echo asks, “Knowing of Larry Smith's history of substance abuse, could his murder be drugs-related?” Barnaby replies, “At present nothing is ruled out.”
Jack Wilson of the Upper Warden Church Newsletter, requests that Murdoch should go home to Causton and let the local press handle the situation. He says, “We're talking about Upper Warden and Lower Warden. We've been murdering each other here since the time of Cromwell. We're not going to change now.” (Troy walks in and indicates he wants to speak to Barnaby) Wilson continues, “March 14th 1643. That's when it all began.”
Barnaby breaks away to speak to Troy. Troy indicates a fight broke out over a flower tribute along the driveway. One woman has a bloody forehead. Emily brought flowers for Larry and Anne came with her flowers. Anne claims she met Larry last year when he was filming The House Of Satan. “Which is when our relationship started,” says Anne. Emily says, “She called it a relationship so I called her a lying cow and she hit me with her flowers.” She dabs a tissue on her bloody forehead. Barnaby asks, “How can you draw blood with flowers?” Emily says, “It was an arrangement. In a pot.” Anne says, “’I always think a nice arrangement is more appropriate on these occasions.” Barnaby says, “I think it would be more appropriate if you were both to go home and grow up. In either order. Go.”
Troy examines the flowers, “Seems to have put it about a bit when he was here last year. Jane, Caroline, Michelle, Fiona. There's one here from Darren.” Darren is the local video nerd. He was covering the event and is a bit of an obsessive. He sometimes helps at the local bookshop.
Troy goes to the bookshop looking for Mr Wilson. There are movie posters all over the bookshop walls. Darren is printing newsletters. He tells Troy that Mr Wilson's out delivering newsletters. Mr Wilson's written an editorial about how the police haven't a clue. Troy shows him his police badge.
At the manor, Rupert shows Barnaby the “Satanic Experience.” It consists of a darkened room with some spooky noises and rotating lights. Rupert says, “It’s an homage. A key scene in the movie. Our hero is locked in a darkened room by the bad guys, and driven mad by a series of unexplained noises. (The sound effects get stuck in a loop- Rupert pounds it.) Then of course he recovers his sanity in order to kill off the bad guys. According to our market research movie buffs love an homage. Show them a plastic shark or the shower curtain from Psycho and they wet themselves with glee and reach for their wallets.” The Satanic Experience is located immediately below the gymnasium.
At the Bookshop, Troy asks about the state of war with Lower Warden. Darren says Mr. Wilson knows about that. Troy asks what Darren does know. Darren says, “I know a lot about classic movies, The Prisoner, and Doctor Who.” Troy asks about the flowers Darren left at the murder scene. Darren says, “I don't have relationships, as a rule. But I've got all 26 episodes of Diamond Geezers on video, and The House Of Satan on video and DVD.
In the pub, Murdoch is interviewing Emily about her relationship with Larry Smith. She didn’t have a relationship but Murdoch wants her to make something up. He clicks on a tape recorder. “Tell me about your night of passion with Larry Smith.”
Troy asks if Darren wants to be famous- if he murdered Larry, he’d be famous. Darren says, “But only for 15 minutes. Is it worth it?” Troy requests the video of the explosion. Darren says, “Remind me to bring it from home next time I see you.” Troy says, “I'm reminding you now, Darren.” Troy asks for a copy of The House Of Satan- There are two: the book of the film and Ellis Bell's original version. Darren says, “The book of the film's got the haunted dungeon in it.” Darren tells Troy they only stock the book of the film.He will have to go to Lower Warden for the other one.
At the temporary police headquarters, Barnaby asks if Darren could organize an explosion? Troy says he could learn to do it from the net if he knew where to surf.
Troy is seeing Darren again that evening. He's promised to do some research on jealous husbands and jealous boyfriends. And he's bringing his video in from home.
Frank is jogging out in the woods, talking on his mobile. Rupert meets him with a handful of cash. Frank says, “I'd rather do this my way. Father's way. The short, sharp shock.” Rupert argues, “Look. We talked about it, we agreed, remember?” Frank tosses a coin and they do it his way. After dark, they go out in the woods again and Rupert looks around with night vision goggles. They left a package on a tree stump. Someone drives up on a motorcycle and grabs the bag. Rupert tries to shoot him. Later, the biker looks in the bag and sees a piece of paper that says, “Screw You.”
The next morning, Frank Webster goes to workout. He tells the receptionist, Helen, “Quick workout. Healthy breakfast. Then back to the big city to find a cheap and willing actor who wants to be a star.” Helen says, “He'll have to be brave as well, won't he?” Frank says, “Stupid will do.”
Troy and Barnaby are strolling and Barnaby says, “If a leading actor drops dead just as he's about to make a film, apparently there's always an insurance deal, sometimes amounting to millions of pounds.”
Troy points to the newspaper he is reading, “A lot of people are making money from the situation. "My 24 hours of passion by broken-hearted Emily Gaskell." Barnaby says, “Somebody's feeding the tabloids. Bet it's that journalist from the Causton Echo.”
The detectives notice spray painting on a door at the church schoolroom, “Lev 18-16.” Troy wonders if it is referring to a Russian goalie? Lev Yashin? Barnaby says it's a biblical reference. Leviticus, from the Bible, every schoolboy's favorite dirty book. Barnaby goes to speak to Reverend Simon. He asks him about the writing on the door. Simon says that the chapter deals with various prohibitions in carnal matters. The people and, in the later verses indeed, the animals that one is not permitted to have sexual relations with, according to God's law. "Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife."
Simon says someone is pointing the finger at his family. Tourists are inside the church taking photos. Barnaby asks if the verse is referring to a particular person in the family. Simon says that Wendy “may not be the brightest star in God's firmament, but she's fundamentally harmless. A flirt, and, in the vernacular, a bimbo -but not, I believe, an adulteress.”
Plot, Part 2[]
MURDER 2: Frank is working out hard on the exercise bike. Suddenly he jerks and cries out in pain and collapses. After examination, Dr. Bullard says, “Men over a certain age shouldn't take exercise. Promise me you'll never go searching for your lost youth, Tom. It's lost because it's meant to be lost.” Bullard thinks Frank died of heart failure. Barnaby asks why he has scorch marks on his hands. Barnaby looks at the electrical outlet. Bullard says the bike is probably connected to the mains, stuffed full of computerized instrumentation so one can measure one’s progress. Barnaby asks to check that bike to see if the circuits are blown.
Helen found Frank’s body. She started getting phone calls for him and there was no answer from his room, so she checked on him.
Bullard looks at the electrical wires. All anyone would need to put a charge through the exercise bike would be a set of jump leads. And rubber gloves, which would mean no fingerprints.
Out on the back porch, the remaining Smythe-Websters are seated on the outdoor furniture, looking at the view of the garden. Laura says, “And then there were four.” Barnaby walks up and Rupert says, “Why don't you sit in your usual chair?” Barnaby asks if Frank had any enemies? “Apparently, otherwise he'd still be alive,” says Rupert. There is no security at the manor. Residents have keys, staff have keys. Simon says, “I imagine all the weasels in the wild wood have their own keys. They probably keep duplicates in their little potting sheds.” This is a reference to “The Wind In The Willows.” Simon says, “Mr Toad marshals his forces and they all mount a very successful counterattack. To be precise, they whack 'em and whack 'em and whack 'em.
Barnaby says, “When I talk to you, or to anyone from Upper Warden, about possible motives, you all point me in the direction of Lower Warden.” Rupert says, “Oh, of course. It's in the natural order of things.”
Barnaby asks if Wendy had a sexual relationship with her late nephew. Which would provide her husband with a motive to murder him. The graffiti that appeared on the schoolroom wall would suggest that one or other of you three brothers had an extramarital relationship with one or the other of the wives. Which, if it were Frank, would give the aggrieved brother a motive for his murder. Rupert says, “We're a family with secrets, Inspector, like any other family. But if those secrets drove any of us to murder, we would do it the gentleman's way -with a bullet to the brain. And face to face. And remember, the main purpose of this family -perhaps our only purpose - is survival.” Barnaby gets up and leaves.
Troy sits with Darren in the pub and beer. He wants Darren to go through a list of people who left flowers for Larry Smith. Darren reports that Emily Gaskell is from Lower Warden. Emily is engaged to Phil Harrison. He's from Lower Warden. He fixes windmills and lives in one. Darren says he works mostly in Upper Warden, but lives mostly with his gran on the edge of Lower Warden.
Troy goes to talk to Phil Harrison. He says he wasn’t bothered by his girlfriend’s article or he would have “punched his lights out, the squaddy's way." Phil has experience with guns and bombs. He does roofing at the big house.
At the Manor, the detectives interview Darren. He says, “I don't work here. I just help out. Same as I do at Mr Wilson's bookshop. I'm basically a freelance. I want to be a film director. I came on at midnight, and everybody was in by then. So, basically I went to sleep in the little office there. But nobody rang any bells last night except Danny the chef.”
Barnaby goes to Lower Warden to interview the townies. The village is dirty, with trash everywhere.
Troy goes to talk to Danny in the kitchen of the Manor. Murdoch is sitting there talking to Danny. Troy kicks him out. Danny gives Troy a recipe for meatballs for Mrs. Barnaby.
Barnaby goes to the Ellis Bell museum, which is run by Sarah Proudie. She tells Barnaby that Ellis Bell was born out of wedlock in Lower Warden in 1867, died in poverty in Causton, in 1930, the year of the great slump. His mother worked at the big house in Upper Warden. She was seduced by the son of the house. The Smythe-Websters denied paternity, but later they helped young Ellis Bell to get work as a teacher. He called it The House Of Satan because he saw the Smythe-Websters as totally corrupt from top to bottom. They took the Ellis Bell book and turned it into a cut-price horror movie. Barnaby finds a can of spray paint and asks Sarah about that. She doesn’t admit anything.
In the Manor kitchen, Danny is cooking. He learned to cook when he was in borstal (an informal name for an establishment in which offenders aged 15 to 21 could be detained for corrective training). When he came out, Rupert gave him a job. Danny says, “Rehabilitation works - I am the living proof. He even sent me on a management course last year. I could end up running the whole caboodle for the family. Smythe-Websters might be a bunch of chinless tossers, but they've been very good to me.” Danny shows Troy a gun he has in his locker. Rupert never had kids of his own so he helps out Danny.
Troy tells Barnaby about his interviews with Darren and Danny. Everybody likes Danny. Barnaby tells Troy that Sarah likely spray painted the door.
Barnaby and Troy goes to talk to Jack Wilson. He admits that it was his idea to make a film based on Ellis Bell's book. Wilson wrote a screenplay and then later, some friend of Frank’s wrote a screenplay. They turned it into a horror film and paid him nothing. Wilson shows the detectives his back room which has live ammunition. He is an Honorary Armourer of the Upper Warden Territorial Army. He says he is permitted to dispense blank ammunition.
Barnaby says, “You refused to work on the film, you say. Yet you were there on the day of Larry's death dressed as a village blacksmith.” Wilson says, “Life's too short to bear grudges. Troy says, “There's one of these missing, sir. There'd be more than enough explosives in a box to blow up the summerhouse.” Wilson says, “I had nothing to do with that.” The only other person who has a key is Major Rupert Smythe-Webster.
The detectives find Wendy window shopping at a store. Barnaby says, “Now that we're well away from the big house, I have to ask you a rude question. Did you have an affair with your husband's brother?” Wendy says, “No, neither. Simon's a vicar. And Frank had sweaty feet.”
Troy reports that he got the list of telephone numbers that the late Frank Webster called from his mobile. Mostly to his office in London and also a film company in Los Angeles. But also to Sarah Proudie and Phil Harrison in Lower Warden. Troy says he is meeting Phil for a drink that evening in The Chapel. Troy goes to Lower Warden and sees Sarah Proudie and Rupert talking. Rupert gives Sarah a check. Sarah says, “Too little, too late. And besides... you're dealing with the wrong person.” Troy comes in and asks where “the Chapel” is. It is across the street.
Inside the Chapel is a pub with a pool table. Phil challenges Troy to pool- Loser buys the drinks.
Barnaby goes to the windmill and sees someone on a motorbike drive up. He spies them climbing the stairs and the person looks around. Not finding what they are looking for, they say, “Bastard!” and leave.
While playing pool, Troy asks why Frank Webster made a series of phone calls to Phil. Phil says he wanted a windmill for The House Of Satan 2 so the villain could die a horrible death. Danny comes in the pub wearing a jacket and carrying a motorcycle helmet. He says, “We have a hustler in our midst. Minnesota Troy.” Troy asks, “Are you his mate?” Danny says, “Yeah, sure, why not? We go back a long way.” Troy says, “You've got your feet well under the table at the manor. Chief-executive-in-waiting. Are you still welcome in Lower Warden?” Danny says, “All that stuff's what the old farts tell you. No, we haven't burned down a castle for what? 500 years?” Troy replies, “Not a castle, maybe. But what about a cricket pavilion?” Sarah Proudie watches the pool game.
Troy goes to get beer refills and Sarah asks him if he’s having a bad night. Troy says, “Pool's not really my game.” Helen says, “We noticed.” Sarah says, “That's the secret. We all have to find our natural game.” Emily says, “Like nights of passion.” Helen giggles.
Troy leaves the Chapel and outside, he finds his tires are all flat.
The next morning, Darren comes to the police center and runs up to speak to Barnaby. Troy sits down to interview him and Darren tells him to turn on his tape recorder. Darren says he let Troy’s tires down. “It's an old tradition. Once a month someone from Upper Warden goes to Lower Warden and does something bad. This month it was my turn, so I let your tires down.” Darren says when he was lurking on the other side of the street. “I saw Danny and Phil come out of The Chapel and they were having a right set-to.” (Flashback: Danny asks, “So where was the money, Phil? Phil says, “He didn't give me any money. Don't cross me. I'll see you in the morning.”) Darren also gives the detectives the videotape for the opening ceremony of The Satanic Experience. The detectives watch the video. Troy looks bored during the video. Then there is a segment of Phil Harrison riding his motorcycle. Barnaby gets “an idea!!” He says, “Darren, you are a prince amongst men.”
The detectives go to the windmill and look around. Barnaby thinks there was a falling out among villains. Barnaby says, “Danny's expecting his share of the money, and instead he finds...he finds this….” a note that says “Judas” tacked to a post.
At the Manor, Rupert and Wendy are served tea by Danny. Rupert says, “These murders, Danny. We can't go on like this, can we?” Danny replies, “We're going to run out of family, aren't we, sir?” Rupert then asks if Danny has found out anything in Lower Warden and Danny says his inquiries are ongoing.” Rupert says, “I tried opening negotiations with Sarah Proudie, but she indicated I was talking to the wrong person.” Danny says, “Ms Proudie knows most of what goes on in Lower Warden, sir, but I don't think she approves of it all, if you see what I mean.” Wendy says, “The whole thing's so ghastly. I'm sure it's affecting my nails.”
Laura is trying to clean the paint off the schoolroom door. She sees the detectives and throws her cloth away and goes to the church. Barnaby follows her. Laura admits that the biblical reference was to her. “Mine was the nakedness that was uncovered,” says Laura. “Frank, of course. Frank was funny. He made me laugh. Over 20 years ago. Lawrence was Frank's son.” Simon knew about it and he hated Frank and Lawrence. But they never talk about it.
Barnaby asks if she thinks Simon killed her son or Frank. Laura says no, but he wouldn’t object if someone else did it for him. “Simon is resolutely Christian. Everything is God's will. It's a very convenient way of looking at things really. It means that nothing is ever anyone's fault.”
Simon walks up while Laura is speaking. He says, “That is a wicked distortion.” Laura turns around and looks at Simon, “Life in the big house, Inspector.”
Barnaby drives to Lower Warden. Sarah is working on Ellis Bell’s grave. She tells Barnaby that she is Ellis Bell's great-granddaughter. When that book first appeared in 1897 the Smythe-Websters of the day bought out the publishers and burned the books. They had a huge bonfire in the grounds of the big house. And then a hundred years later, they stole it back, corrupted it, and made their millions. They took a classic and "crapped all over it." Thirty years ago Sarah and Rupert had a brief relationship. Sarah thought that she could make a decent man out of Rupert, but failed. Recently, Rupert offered her money, which she refused. She had approached Frank Webster about making a contribution to the running of the museum. Frank told her that the book was out of copyright and told me to get lost.
Barnaby notices the grave of Elsie Pinchel, Danny's mother. Sarah says, “She died a couple of weeks ago. She was legendary midwife of the parish. And a formidable gossip. She'd have answered all your questions, whether she knew the answers or not.” They walk past the chapel. Sarah says, “God retreated and the people's republic of Lower Warden turned it into a drinking club. Phil did the building work. Danny did the rewiring.” Danny’s good at electrics.
Plot, Part 3[]
MURDER 3: Barnaby drives off to Upper Warden. Troy and Barnaby go to the kitchen and see red liquid all over the floor. They find Danny dead on the floor.
Barnaby sees Rupert ride up on a horse. Rupert tells Barnaby that Sarah said, “you couldn't have a proper relationship across the tracks if one of the families owns the tracks. So I returned to my own kind.” Rupert goes on to tell Barnaby that there used to be four brothers. His elder brother St. John “drove his Ferrari into a wall when he was up at Oxford. So we all moved up one. I got landed with running this place, instead of becoming the local vicar.” Being the vicar is a “doddle. The hours are undemanding and you get first whack at the young wives club.” But by the time his big brother had killed himself, Rupert had had the operation. “The snip. It was Sarah Proudie's idea, but it made sense at the time, looking ahead to the young wives. Simon, as you will have observed, is fundamentally sexless. Frank was always very careful after the business with Laura which brought forth little Larry. We're running out of family, Mr Barnaby. A thousand years, and now it's over.”
Barnaby asks, “How do you plan to cope?” Rupert says, “That's what The Satanic Experience is all about. Fatten up the place, sell it to some global leisure corporation and spend the money on loose living. It's the end of the line and nobody will give a damn.” Why would anyone want to kill Larry and Frank? Rupert says it’s because “we have the money and they haven’t.” Barnaby asks if Rupert sees Danny as the prospective heir? Rupert says, “I don't know what he's been telling you but that's ridiculous. I've always said that if we sold up we'd try to protect his job. But that's hardly the same thing.” Rupert doesn’t think Danny would have stolen his key to the bombs. Danny has always been an amiable soul.
Barnaby says, “He's a dead soul now.” Rupert says, “They can't kill Danny. Everybody likes Danny.”
At the crime scene, Bullard says he thinks Danny was drowned in the gazpacho. It's cold tomato soup. There is a bruise on his head, but his face was held down in the soup and the killer would have very messy clothes.
Plot Denouement[]
The detectives drive to Lower Warden and see a motorbike outside the Ellis Bell museum. Barnaby enters. Barnaby finds Sarah Proudie going through Phil Harrison’s clothes in a trash bag while Phil sobs. The clothes are soaked in soup. Phil tries to run and gets on his motorcycle but Troy has flattened his tires.
Rupert drives up with his gun and says, “Why? My nephew was a waster, my brother was a waster and I daresay I'm a waster too. Everybody liked Danny!” Barnaby says, “Everybody was wrong. Danny was the worst of the lot.”
Inside the museum, Phil explains… “He was the brains. I was the guy who pushed the button. (Flashback: Danny borrowed the key to the armory. And he planned the explosion that killed Larry. Phil triggered the blast by remote control. Danny watches from the roof for when Larry went into the summerhouse and gives Phil the signal.). Sarah asks why?
Phil says, “I saw Frank Webster laugh at you that day. (Flashback: Frank telling Sarah “Just because some cheapskate ancestor wrote a lousy book? There is no copyright on books 70 years after the writer's death. Ellis Bell belongs to the world now. Public ownership. I thought you people believed in that, darling.” Frank walks away laughing.) Phil says, “He should never have laughed at you, simple as that."
Barnaby says, “After Larry died, Frank was supposed to come through with the money, wasn't he? But he didn't. Is that right?” Rupert says, “Yeah, that's right. I wanted to pay up, he didn't- we tossed a coin to decide.” (Flashback: They flip a coin. Frank says, “My way.”) Phil says, “Yeah, he fancied himself as a hard man. He wasn’t.” (Flashback: Below the gymnasium, a cable is attached to the wire connected to the exercise bike. Danny gives the signal and Phil electrocutes Frank.)
Barnaby says, “I assume you were going to put pressure on Rupert next?” Phil says, “He was still the man with the money.” Rupert says, “All right, I can understand Phil hating the family. But why Danny?”
Phil says, “I went to see him this morning. We had words, and suddenly he said - (Flashback: “You're an idiot. Just like your dad.” Phil says, “I haven't got a dad.” Danny says, “Everyone's got one somewhere. Yours is lord of the manor. Yeah. If you don't believe me I can show you my mum's diary.” Phil says, “Oh, yeah, Rupert's my dad. That means I could spoil everything for you, couldn't I? You set me up, didn't you? You wanted me to go down for all this stuff.” Danny says, “Well, I went down for the cricket pavilion.” Phil says, “Then with me out of the way you could have a clear run.” Danny says, “That's what friends are for.” Phil tosses some pans around, grabs Danny and pushes his head into the soup.)
Rupert says, “What precisely am I being told here?” Sarah says, “Danny's mother, Elsie, was the midwife at Phil's birth. And she always told the mother, "If anything goes wrong, I need to know who the father is." And so I told her. And she wrote all the names down in her diary.”Barnaby shows the diary which was found on Danny's body. Phil says, “Yeah. And I'm your son and heir. Except that you people would have found a way of screwing me. We couldn't have some lout from Lower Warden taking over the manor, could we?”
Sarah says, “That's why I never told you.” Phil says, “You did the right thing, Mum.” Sarah says, “Look at us. We're a family.” Police escort Phil out, but he stops to say, “So long... Daddy,” to Rupert.
At the church, Darren is filming and Wilson comes up and says, “Back to normal, then?” Darren says, “Normal's a bit weird round here, isn't it, Mr Wilson?” Wilson says, “No, Darren. Weird's another place.”
At the windmill, Sarah is watering the plants. Keeping it nice for her son. Rupert comes up and asks if it’s “too late for us to be friends?” Sarah says, “Oh, I think so. Don't you?”
At the Barnaby house, Barnaby is reading "The House of Satan" by Ellis Bell and says to Joyce, “You were right. It's not a bad book.” Joyce says, “It's very good.” Barnaby says, “You didn't tell me the hero's name is Harrison. Phil Harrison.” Joyce says, “You didn't ask.” Barnaby asks, “Is this your bookmark?” Joyce says, “Oh, no it's not. Danny's meatball recipe. He seemed a nice boy.”
Barnaby says, “Oh, yeah. Everybody liked him.”
Cast[]
- John Nettles as DCI Tom Barnaby
- Daniel Casey as Sgt. Gavin Troy
- Jane Wymark as Joyce Barnaby
- Barry Jackson as Dr. George Bullard
- Ronald Pickup as Rupert Smythe-Webster
- Beth Goddard as Wendy Smythe-Webster
- Christopher Good as Simon Smythe-Webster
- Phoebe Nicholls as Laura Smythe-Webster
- Jonathan Hyde as Frank Webster
- Leo Bill as Darren
- Jo Stone-Fewings as Danny Pinchel
- Tim Preece as Jack Wilson
- Anne Reid as Sarah Proudie
- Alex Lowe as Phil Harrison
- Charlie Beall as Larry Smith
- Rebecca Johnson as Anne
- Danielle Tilley as Emily
- Katy Murphy as Helen
- Jack Chissick as Murdoch
- Brett Reylander as Policeman (uncredited)
Galleries[]
Body Count[]
Prior to the Episode
Committed suicide by driving his Ferrari into a wall when he was up at Oxford.
Died of natural causes 2 weeks prior.
In the Episode
Blown up after going in a summer house as part of a promotion for the sequel to "The House of Satan".
Electrocuted while riding his exercise bike after it was connected to a main charge.
Drowned by having his head held in a kettle of gazpacho (tomato soup).
Supporting Cast[]
Episode Images[]
Arrests[]
- Danny Pinchel for the murders of:
This is the 16th time a murderer has died before arrest. Previous episodes where the murderer died before being arrested are The Killings at Badger's Drift, Written in Blood, Death's Shadow, Strangler's Wood, Dead Man's Eleven, Death of a Stranger, Judgement Day, Destroying Angel & A Worm in the Bud
- Phil Harrison for the murders of:
Notes[]
The following actors and actresses who appeared in this episode have also appeared in the following episodes:
- Brett Reylander - Death in Disguise and Blood Will Out
- Ronald Pickup - The Magician's Nephew
- Beth Goddard - Dark Secrets
- Rebecca Johnson - Vixen's Run
Trivia[]
- The Manor is "Foxwarren Park," Wisley, Surrey, England
- The author of the book that is the root of the strife between the two villages is Ellis Bell. Ellis Bell was the pseudonym of Emily Brontë.
- Troy tells Barnaby that the first victim is an actor who starred in a (fictitious) series called Diamond Geezers, 2 years later there was a real series called Diamond Geezers.
- The character Simon Smythe-Webster refers to "the weasels in the wild wood", which DCI Barnaby correctly identifies as a line from Kenneth Grahame's 1908 children's novel, "The Wind in the Willows".
- The bookshop is actually Penn Cottage Bookshop, in Penn, Bucks, which was famously a popular destination in early life for Terry Pratchett (author of Discworld series).
- The character Laura Smythe-Webster quips, "And then there were four" after the second death. This is a reference to the nursery rhyme "Ten Little Soldiers", found in what is widely regarded as Agatha Christie's 1939 masterpiece "And Then There Were None".
- This is the 7th episode in which Joyce Barnaby witnesses a death from murder (Larry Smith) when he is blown up in the summerhouse. Previously she was a witness in Death of a Hollow Man, Death's Shadow, Dead Man's Eleven, Judgement Day, Murder on St. Malley's Day & Painted in Blood, where she discovered the body,
- Darren calls Troy "Minnesota Troy" in reference to Minnesota Fats, the Pool champ in The Hustler
The Trials and Tribulations of DS Gavin Troy:
- Troy, along with everyone else, has a bit of confusion between Upper and Lower Warden since Lower Warden is uphill and Upper is downhill.
Quotes[]
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